In the wake of the recent media circus surrounding the Zimmerman case, as well as the discussions I’ve tried to have about it with friends, I am finding my bafflement and misanthropy slowly turn into clarity and resolve. I want to leave the US for good. The land is beautiful, but the culture is toxic and beyond repair. The economic, political, and legal issues that concern me should go without saying to any thinking person at this point. I’ll ignore the surveillance issue in this post, except to leave you with a quote from Jean Baudrillard: “terrorism is still a lesser evil than a police state capable of ending it.” Instead, I want to focus on an issue that will immediately strike you all as irrelevant, so cue the eye roll now. There is an enormous prejudice in this country against the two most visible features of my being: being white and being male. What is more, plenty of my liberal, white, male friends are unknowingly complicit in this state of affairs.
Socialism works like a ratchet mechanism and it will be impossible, having spun that cog as far as we have, to take even a single turn backwards. But this is really not the deeper reason why I want to leave, for I could handle such a state of affairs if a deep and noble culture stood beneath it. As it happens, the economico-political changes that worry me are being driven by the real cause of my concern: a culture of victim-worship, ressentiment, tribalism-in-the-name-of-equality-and-inclusion, and blatant, unabashed, yet entirely unmentionable double-standards. You have all disproportionately heard from the minorities, so let me give you a dose of perspective from the new minority: the white male of the once privileged but now reviled class that, I hasten to warn you, now has zero incentive to invest in “America,” as it is still called.
Good, now that you have all stopped reading the prima facie-irrelevant protestations of a white male, I can go on to speak some truth without worrying about being lynched by the very people decrying the historical practice. Just to be clear, I am not addressing the rhetoric of the liberal intelligentsia, but the culture in California, as represented by my friends, my acquaintances, and the upstanding, justice-seeking citizens looting WallMarts on Crenshaw. To this culture, I say Wake Up! Rhetoric and political discourse are not meant to be vapid cocktail-party conversation whose purpose ultimately is to impress those in the room with your compassionate egalitarianism in the service of getting laid or winning the drunken crowd. Every once in a while you might need to countenance a tough compromise or voice an unpopular opinion, even if it is an inconvenient cock-block or leads to you get your ass beaten by some deeply offended minority whose physical violence we tolerate under the auspices of its somehow defending free speech, tolerance, and equality.
Yeah, your right, I should eeeease into this rant a bit…no sense losing my head before my readers demand it on a spike. We’ll get there eventually. Let me start with the issue of misandry then, given that women are less likely to physically assault me for my rhetoric.
Many claim that misandry is a myth and that women sometimes hate “men” as a privileged class, but not “men” as individuals. This is nonsense. Misandry takes many forms, but its most annoying feature is a blatant double-speak of Orwellian proportions that enforces an unrecognized double standard. This goes unnoticed because it influences the way men talk to other men and so everyone assumes its only bros talking about nailing bitches and so forth. Wrong. If you are dating someone for more than a week without trying to sleep with them, plenty of women will tell you to “make a move you pussy!” These same women will decry the dearth of good, sweet guys out there who respect women and so forth. This reinforces the natural male tendency to bust balls and set sexual conquest as the bar for manhood. So, let me list some of the double standards that I run into most frequently, either personally or vicariously:
- When I’m respectful of women and try to get to know them before trying to get in their pants, I’m a pussy; I just don’t have the balls to get what I want. Yet, when I do, I’m just another asshole out to fuck women and carve notches into my bedpost.
- When I’m monogamous, I’m just being hopelessly naive and failing to take into account our evolutionary heritage. “What kind of vile patriarchal monster would demand fidelity from a woman? Does he own her or something? OPPRESSION!” These same women will cry bloody murder when their hapless, confused lover cheats on them. “Men are dogs!”
- When I argue a point I believe in with women, regardless of how I comport myself, hear them, adjust my position, equivocate, etc, I’m just muscling them into line like a patriarch. Never mind that they too are arguing, usually with far more aggressive and emotional rhetoric. If I disagree, I’m denying their reality. Never mind that they too are disagreeing and are more likely to simply reject a man’s reality, for, they have a divine right to their feelings AND whatever interpretation of those feelings they FEEL they are entitled to, which again cannot be questioned because its a feeling. A guy has no right to such privileged feelings and is usually called a bitch in some form or another if he voices anything resembling them. The man must keep his ideas on ice during debate, if he is allowed a voice at all, while the woman can run hot as magma and she is just adorably “passionate.”
- When I’m down on my luck and not further along in a career, I’m a failed man, but when a woman is in the same situation, she is just struggling to find her voice and passion, despite the fact that our entire economic, academic, and legal infrastructure openly caters to her.
- When I’m unaware of or insensitive to a woman’s feelings I’m Kevin James or Raymond; the clumsy oaf or foolish male of modern sitcoms who women begrudgingly tolerate though he is really irrelevant–a domesticated dinosaur clumsily trying to use a fork and knife with his little T-rex arms. When, as it frequently happens, I am more aware of the feelings and relationship dynamics than the women, I’m a beta-male, weakling, or fag.
I find this stereotyping of men more common from women than from men, especially because when it comes from men it is usually just playful ball-busting and is controlled by a certain thin red line that men are careful not to cross or risk a fight. Women have carte blanche in this department and take full advantage, failing to realize that they are creating the very men they will later hate on. But perhaps that’s the point. If a man is damned if he does, damned if he doesn’t, that’s all the more power for women. And oh, how they deserve unlimited power, for, its not like men have worked, died, and sacrificed to protect women at their own personal peril for all of human history…they were always only oppressing them, right?
Women, wake up, you don’t need to prove yourself like men do with harsh rhetoric; we’ll listen to you and respect your opinion just to enjoy your charming company! You are the gatekeepers of sex and therefore your choices largely determine the values guys will display in the sexual marketplace. I want to see a women’s movement that just teaches young girls to spot narcissists and choose decent guys. Within three generations we’d likely change the course of human history with a “soft” eugenics. I’m calling your bluff ladies: if its really only guys who are all about looks and sex appeal, then you should have no problem whatsoever choosing nice dudes BEFORE age 25 instead of after. Get it done.
I’m now entirely fed up with this so-called debate (*scoff). Could it be that profiling sometimes has less to do with race and more to do with a provocative manner of dress, an attitude, an extended middle-finger?
I asked on FB whether people thought Zimmerman would be just as likely to profile or “stalk” this fellow Hispanic and nobody answered, though they were quick to tell me that they didn’t find this guy threatening or ostentatious in the least. Really? I call your bluff. Walk through a neighborhood of these fine gentlemen wearing your skinny jeans and talking on your iPhone, I dare you! Seriously, does someone have to go to the following lengths before we are willing to admit his hostile intent? Is this just a benign cultural expression?
Why do I even have to use such hyperbole to make this point? I don’t care if you are pink, yellow, brown or turquoise, this is a threat display and has nothing to do with race, except insofar as he is advertising hostility to any race but his own by default, and many within his own race on a more selective basis.
If a tattoo-covered white guy drives a Harley, revving the engine and waking up the whole neighborhood, he is sorta asking to be pulled over and frisked. If a dude of any color wears a shirt that says “Fuck The Police,” or “Thug Life Forever,” he’s choosing to present a certain profile. If you dress all gangsta in order to play the bad-ass and get girls with daddy issues, then stop hiding behind your skin color and live with the fuckin consequences you pedantic coward! You are asking to be profiled in a certain manner, admit it; that’s the whole point of dressing that way. The greasers were originally called “hoods” and were profiled and harassed by the cops…but that’s what they intended. I’m sick of hearing “oh, but its his culture…you wouldn’t deny a Sikh his turban, would you?” No, I wouldn’t, but that’s a culture with more than 20 years of history behind its style of dress, which, I might add is hardly offensive to anyone; its a culture that stands for something that ennobles those in its community. Dressing like Tupac is MEANT to be offensive and slightly threatening, just like the Harley driver is sending a message of “don’t fuck with me” by obnoxiously revving his engine. If you are going to claim some kind of racial or cultural solidarity and identity then take some responsibility for that culture and/or race instead of alternating between the individualism card and the race/culture card as needed.
Obama reminds us that “There are very few African-American men who haven’t had the experience of walking across the street and hearing the locks click on the doors of cars.” Yeah, but few white people haven’t had the experience of being racially profiled THEN ROBBED! Deal with it. Stop valorizing criminal culture, dressing the part, and then complaining when you unnerve people.
Nobody seems to be aware of the prisoners dilemma of racial profiling for white people. When I walk down the street in SF or Oakland I feel the hate-filled eyes of nearly every minority on me, profiling me, casing me, and yet, if I cross the street preemptively, I’m a racist profiler instead of someone caught in a prisoners dilemma? Sometimes I profile by race, but this is hardly racist on my part, it is simply acknowledging that these guys more than likely hate me because of MY race or class. Furthermore, I seriously don’t give a shit what race you are–if you mad-dog me or give me the evil eye, I’m gonna be reluctant to greet you with “cheerio my good fellow! Good day to you sir!” I might even perform the heinously offensive action of locking my car door. For heavens sake its not about race: I avoid Hells Angels members too! Ah, you object, friends; do you? I call your bluff: go walk down Crenshaw at night or San Palbo in Oakland wearing your skinny jeans and talking on your next-gen iPhone. I dare you! Backup your rhetoric, if you have the guts, but backup your address book and ensure your phone first.
Freedom Of Dress
“But kids in the ghetto have to dress gansta just to survive,” my antagonist replies. Nonsense. Those kids have to literally fight for their turf and will win respect on that basis alone, not their cultural uniform–the sagging jeans just hinder their ability to fight or flee. “But you can’t judge a book by its cover.” Sure I can. That’s why authors pay good money to design an attractive and non-offensive cover. To my fine African American brothers out there filing lawsuits based on racism, I ask you this: would you hire an attorney dressed in Fubu? No? Why not? Ah. So your manner of dress actually means something, communicates something then, doesn’t it. Oh, you wouldn’t see a dentist or doctor either if he were wearing a wife-beater and jean-shorts that sag so low they might as well be ass-less pants? How odd. Do you not see that your attempted racial solidarity is anathema to your plea for inclusion and equality? You want me to treat you as an equal but I’m not allowed to you call you “brother”?
“Oh, but you can’t deny me my culture!” you protest. No I can’t. We live in a multi-cultural society where tolerance reigns supreme, but tolerance is not the same thing as acceptance and I have a right not to accept your style or manner on your terms. I can lock my car door. I can call the cops if your shady ass is skulking around my neighborhood at 1AM. If you are there for a good reason it should be pretty simple to explain it, right? “Just heading to my girls place on 5th, apt 2. Didn’t mean to startle. Have a good night.” Is that so hard? And yes, I can defend myself if you assault me for inquiring whether you live in the neighborhood or not–this is not an offense worthy of assault and you know you would do the same thing if I was walking through your hood, some unknown dude. Deal with it.
Minority Racism and So-called Racial/Cultural Solidarity
The ethnic minorities are the most deeply racist people in America (and towards each other too, not just whites), so I call projection and reaction formation on your loud accusations of white racism! The lady doth protest too much! In case you forgot, the existence of white racists in the past doesn’t justify your hating their great, great grand kids. Otherwise you don’t believe in individual freedoms and support treating people as races and classes–ie you have become your enemy.
Have you watched the news after any ambiguous legal incident involving race? It just baffles me: where is all this racial solidarity when it comes to criticizing absent fathers or cousins that steal cars? If you don’t chastise cousin Jorge, Jamal, or white-assed Billy-Joe, for that matter, about stealing cars, then you don’t have a right to be all offended when someone locks their car door as you pass by, sporting your hoody that says in effect “I celebrate a culture of poverty, crime, and violence, so back up and step off mother f***er!” Why is there only racial solidarity when there are cars to turn over and burn and none when it comes to protecting the image of the race, class, or sub-culture you belong to? Do you have no pride? Why not invent your own slurs or offensive terms for those in your own community that are dragging everyone down with them?
Oh, you are stomping on cars on Crenshaw in support of your race and culture? Bullshit. You want to act like a community? Great! But where is all that racial solidarity, where are all of those protests and marches when it comes to stopping rape, absentee fathers, and crime within your communities? Why only protest when there are Wallmarts to loot and cars to smash? Why celebrate only victims and never heroes; why produce only victims and rarely heroes; why listen to victims and never the heroes you do manage to produce? MLK longed for a society in which people were judged by the contents of their character and not the color of their skin, so take a long fucking look in the mirror and ask yourself what he’d think of YOUR character! A white guy who judges everyone by the contents of their character has to have the race card thrown in his face at every turn, and if he calls that move one of low character, he’s even more of a racist.
Why do I see outrage over the Zimmerman trial but passive acceptance of the 532 murders in Chicago in 2012 or the fact that nationwide, gang membership has increased by roughly 40%? Obama actually said something rather eloquent on this point recently:
That anger may not get expressed in public, in front of white co-workers or white friends. But it does find voice in the barbershop or around the kitchen table. At times, that anger is exploited by politicians, to gin up votes along racial lines, or to make up for a politician’s own failings. … That anger is not always productive; indeed, all too often it distracts attention from solving real problems; it keeps us from squarely facing our own complicity in our condition.
However, he is wrong that this anger is not expressed in public or in front of white co-workers. More likely, the white co-workers suddenly have a deadline to meet when you start talking about “justice for Trayvon” at the water-cooler. They don’t have a voice in that discussion because, express it or not, there is a ton of anger seething under there.
I am deeply suspicious of the open and naked production of double standards that women and minorities of all forms have managed to sow into our culture, and as a (soon-to-be-but-not-yet-minority) white guy, I feel this leverage acuity, while receiving none of the benefits of the old world order to which these double standards were directed as compensation. I’m asked to be 1) chivalrous in a misandrous, post-feminism world, 2) monogamous and loyal in the age of polyamory, 3) accepting of minorities into my culture and community while they do everything they can to flout its norms and express disdain for it in their manner, speech, dress, and opinions, and 4) all-the-while accept that I’m a privileged white racist when in fact the minority races are the most blatantly racist groups of people in the US and my “privileged” middle class disappeared? I think not. People need to realize that we live in a globalized world and our “culture” might be alienating a group of nice dudes in society who have the power to move elsewhere. I’m in Asia right now and though I realize that all Asians are racist, the wonderful thing is that its all out in the open, and furthermore, they actually have racial preferences in addition to racial prejudices. Sensitive, courteous white males are preferred in some parts of the world, you know!?
White Hypocrisy & The Dangers Of Pandering
So many liberals I speak with don’t understand that their purported alignment with minority culture perpetuates a culture of poverty. They don’t understand that their support of (Uncle) Toms Shoes is more about absolving their own white guilt and less about saving the world. I implore you to read Oscar Wilde’s “The Soul Of Man Under Socialism” or watch this video from Zizek. Then, take a deep hard look at whether you are supporting minorities only in argument, or if you are actually taking some action. Are you volunteering to teach in the inner cities? Then sit down and shut the fuck up. I will only listen to such rhetoric from people taking action, like my female friend J, who actually is teaching in the inner city. She is allowed to chastise me.
If you are a priveleged white person chastising me, then you are double-dipping in the cultural pie with your avowal of support for minorities and offers of charity. Whatever help you perform also helps support the very same society that created the need for this charity. But you like it this way, don’t you. You remain the wealthier class while always having the downtrodden to help, doubling your claims to dignity while keeping the status quo firmly in place. Plus, you never have to speak out against outrageous behaviors or nihilistic sub-cultures and can wax eloquent all evening about your noble values and egalitarianism.
As vile as all of this rhetoric seems to you, and I’m sure it does, don’t you realize that I’m attacking views that are keeping this culture of poverty spinning in a rut? Fine, just laugh. As Lao Tzu said, if it were not laughed at it would not be the Tao.
How dare you call this guy a racist. Do some reading. Did you not notice that he is a minority himself? The more I look at this case the more I see tragedy, not outrage. The fact that we simply accept criminality and criminal culture, venerate it in fact, while going for the jugular of anyone standing up against it, however clumsily or over-zealously–that should be an outrage! It seems like we are so desperate for a just battle to fight that we will take whatever simulacrum we can get. Its almost like we want racism to be rampant so that we can feel good about our righteous outrage and feel like we are fighting a good fight. The truth is that its all far too ambiguous these days for such blind gallantry. Perhaps I simply haven’t read into this as much as I need to, but from where I’m standing, to find this verdict an outrage one has to assume the very worst about Zimmerman and assume the very best about Martin, almost to the extent of assuming that Zimmerman pistol whipped himself in the front and back of his own head to cover his tracks. I see no reason for such assumptions and a few good reasons to assume that Martin might not deserve the infinite benefit of the doubt he’s getting. No wonder nobody wants to stand up for anything in the community: slip up and be our favorite scapegoat; succeed and be dismissed and forgotten. That way we can justify to ourselves why we aren’t part of the neighborhood watch ourselves, but instead, leave this job to the police, who we will blast at the first hint of any ambiguity in their performance. You know their job aint easy, right? They have to tell the difference between a nice Hispanic fellow dressed like a ganster and an actual Mexican gangster in a split second–so make their job a little easier, will you?
The only people we allow to launch the kind of critique that I have foolishly posted here are comedians. We leave it to people like Bill Burr and Joe Rogan to put the “cock” back in ‘Caucasion,’ because we need to hear the truth but can always just take that last swig of beer and write off the critique as all in good fun. They aren’t joking though, its just they are the only people in society who are allowed to get away with telling the truth. Everyone else gets sued, beaten up, or at the very least ridiculed and intimidated.
For the above reasons I am very much inclined to wash my hands of the whole mess and move overseas to a place where sensitive, cultured, white males are relevant, respected, and valued instead of vilified, mocked and entrapped by double/triple-standards which they are required to swallow without protest, lest they be called racist misogynist what-have-you’s. There are even places on this planet where black people treat me as an equal, you know? In my present mood I’m very tempted to just stand back from afar and watch America sink under the burden of its own ressentiment, indignation and self-sabotage. I’m sorry America, but you hardly have many economic incentives to offer me as a trade-off anymore.